Job Applications in the Union of American Socialist Republics

Job applications are lot of fun each and every time. Judging by what I see on applications, I have come to the conclusion that I am completely useless to employers in the UASR. I have not spent time as an imperial storm trooper (military). I possess a clean bill of health. This is bad because only people with major disabilities can be productive, so says the ADA. I do not possess a pair of ovaries (so maybe I am disabled, just not in a good way). I do not have the correct "ethnic makeup." If only I were black or Hispanic, then I would be much more productive.

Oh, and one can clearly tell that employers hate these nasty little things called resumes. They would prefer you completely re-type everything about yourself every time you apply to a job. I fully respect the rights of employers. That does not mean that the majority of them aren't complete blockheads like every other genius whose graduated from American schools and cannot identify the country that borders the U.S. to the north.